Blog Articles
Additional resources written by our PCS therapists.
-
Recovery, Revolution and Evolution
Series Three: Blog Sixty-One Life force is ever changing. Every addict enters recovery lost. They hope to find lost integrity, trust and a healthy lifestyle. They want to regain the sanity that has been lost. A cup of coffee, a warm smile and authentic stories of brokenness in a 12-step… -
Why Write a Letter of Clarification to Someone You Betrayed?
Series Three: Blog Sixty Betrayal does a number on those who have been deceived in a romantic relationship. Most of the time a betrayed partner stumbles into the reality that their partner has been lying and cheating with someone else. When therapeutic disclosure happens their mind cannot wrap around the… -
Mechanics of Betrayal— Understanding the Basics of Healing Betrayal Behavior
Series Three: Blog Fifty-Nine I have spent my professional career listening to stories of men and women who have broken the hearts of loved ones with offensive sexual behavior. I have watched loved ones strike back as a trauma response. I have sit with partners as they unearth their own… -
Chaos and the Big Sleep
Series Three: Blog Fifty-Eight “Everybody is somebody—but on any given day there is somebody who feels like nobody. At the end of the day, the question is “does anybody care enough to walk alongside the one who feels like nobody long enough to help them feel that they are somebody… -
Transitioning from Partnership to Parenthood
Making the decision about who is going to be responsible for what within the context of yourfamily system can already be a tricky task to navigate. Throw a baby into the mix—this becomeseven more complicated. For most, having a baby means taking on a whole list of newresponsibilities while maintaining… -
The Scarcity of Time
Please excuse me, I am asking for a moment of your time. This seems presumptuous for someone who has spent most of his adult life “never” having enough time. I know it seems overstated but trust me I never have enough time. It seems a chronic condition – no matter… -
Things to Consider When You Sponsor
Series Three: Blog Fifty-Seven Sponsorship in the 12-step community involves a number of tasks. It is a privileged role that can inspire and disappoint. The one qualification that every sponsor brings to the table is that s/he is an addict who experiences the same challenges that a sponsee knows. The… -
Self Belief—Key to Long Term Sobriety
Series Three: Blog Fifty-Six “If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” –Vincent van Gogh Addicts stop believing in themselves. In many cases addicts never had anyone who ever believed in them. So they give up… -
Managing Masturbation: Gray Zone Living in Sexual Addiction
Series Three: Blog Fifty-Five “There is an Indian fable of three beings who drank from a river—one was a god, and he drank ambrosia; one was a man, and he drank water; and one was a demon, and he drank filth. What you get is a function of your own… -
Boundaries—Binoculars that Help You Find Yourself
Series Three: Blog Fifty-Four When people are bullied and physically dominated, sometimes I feel their pain in my bones. I remember watching my older brother Dave get into fights. I absorbed the pain and humiliation of guys that he would dominate in a fight in front of their girlfriends. There… -
Cultivating Healthy Self Parenting
Series Three: Blog Fifty-Three Most addicts roll with life being emotionally intolerant. Nostalgia is not warm. It’s haunting. Yesterday brings back moments of painful loneliness and bitter emptiness. There is a quixotic interest to revisit past family experience and make it something it never was. Some shut down all feelings… -
Your Feelings and Thoughts Do Make a Difference
Series Three: Blog Fifty-two Addicts are vulnerable. They don’t know how to recognize or manage feelings, particularly the strong and powerful ones. What they do know is to split off from their feelings and pretend they are just fine. Once I was sitting at a wedding reception and a clergy… -
Empathy for Self
Series Three: Blog Forty-Nine Carl Jung is famous for formulating the concept of the shadow, the portion of our personality which through the course of our life is relegated to the darkness of the unconscious. When we come face-to-face with our darker side, we use metaphors to describe these shadow… -
18 Years Ago
When my son was born 18 years ago, it seemed like the year 2022 would be an eternity away…how could my preemie baby boy, just 5 pounds 3 ounces, ever grow up to be 18? Even though it was my hope that he would go off to college someday, how… -
The Hollowing of Humanity
Series Three: Blog Forty-Eight “Every person born in this world represents something new, something that never existed before, something original and unique”. -Martin Buber There is an old Blackfoot buffalo legend that speaks to the sacred nature of living things. The tribe could not get the buffalo herd to stampede… -
64 Things I Wish I Knew About Grief
I wish someone had told me… 1. No matter how prepared you think you are for a death, you can never be fully prepared for the loss and the grief. 2. You can plan for death, but death does not always comply with our wishes or plans. 3. “Stop avoiding… -
Working with The Shame of Acting Out
Series Three: Blog Forty-nine For addicts in recovery, sobriety is necessary but not sufficient for the long term journey. During acting out, the whole of life is surrounded by addictive behavior. The chemical or behavior became a lover without which there was no reason to go on. It is important… -
Navigating Through the Roots of Addiction
Series Three: Blog Forty-Eight When I was a little kid Christmas morning was mixed with high anticipation, disappointment, dread and a ton of anxiety. I could not wait for my mom to declare from the bottom of the stairway that Santa Claus had come. I had been anxiously waiting for… -
The Flaw of Human Frailty
Series Three: Blog Forty-Seven “A friend said to me, “Hey you need to grow a pair. Grow a pair, Bro.” It’s when someone calls you weak, but they associate it with a lack of testicles. Which is weird, because testicles are the most sensitive things in the world. If you… -
Codependency: A Cancer to the Spirit of Life
Series Three: Blog Forty-Six Last night I dreamt that I was busy caring for everyone around me. Busyness was swirling all around me, just the way I liked it. I had written a second book and had just completed 35 miles during my early morning run. No one knew about…
Subscribe and thrive.
Subscribe to receive the latest stories, thought leadership, and growth strategies from PCS therapists.