Series Three: Blog Sixty-Three
Family scripts and experiences are carved in stone. Recovery requires significant long-term effort to disconnect the emotional wiring that sabotages relational intimacy caused by family dysfunction. Many of us have turned into ourselves, unable to connect to others. It was, at the time, a necessary choice in order to survive the lack of safe, loving and consistent care from our primary caregivers. For many mom and dad were good people who did some lousy parenting. They did the best they could most of the time. It just wasn’t enough. As a result, many of us learned to numb ourselves from the myriad of unhealthy childhood experiences to protect ourselves from disintegration and pain.
Today our relationships become conflictual and difficult. We recreate past disappointments and losses that were experienced from family past. We become compulsive. We are driven from boredom by a compulsive desire for more excitement. We seek ways to not think or feel. We think that if we control situations and people around us, we will not be so likely to get hurt or be alone. So our truth becomes black and white, driven by thoughts we would like to avoid. Many of us deny reality. We want others to do our research for truth. We tell ourselves that the realities that surround us are not actual. It’s all fake news. Addicts have done this their entire lives. It’s an illusion that we embrace to numb the out of control and over control cycles that create more and more chaos. We learn to compartmentalize so that we see these weaknesses in others in order to avoid the impact of our own past experiences in our family of origin.
For many of us it takes a lifetime to unravel the family scripts that were carved in stone. For those who take the journey and stay the course discover the secret of their own brilliance and genuinely rejoice in being an unrepeatable miracle of the universe.
Subscribe to receive the latest stories, thought leadership, and growth strategies from PCS therapists.
|7530 E. Angus Drive
Scottsdale, AZ 85251