How to Differentiate Between Attraction and Objectification

By Hadas Ron-Zarki - 11/15/2021

Let’s start with the obvious:

It is o.k. to be wowed by another person’s look, be attracted to them. It is o.k. to desire sex; it’s o.k. to be sexual.

It is actually more than o.k.! It is part of healthy development and being human.

Moreover, attraction is at the foundation of our survival as species. A mean to mate, procreate and continuing to exist.

SO WHERE IS THE PROBLEM?

There isn’t, unless we define people solely by their sexuality and what can we get from them. If we reduce them to their looks only and we ignore them as a whole person with feelings and thoughts.

This state of mind narrows them down to a shiny object that’s all about satisfying OUR needs and here to be used. It takes away their agency since they have no say. Do you sense the sexual violence?

Should they be flattered that we find them attractive in this way?

Striping them from their humanity is devaluing, as if all their worth is their body and not the wholeness of mind, body and soul. There’s no respect in that.

Objectifying is association to self-centeredness and entitlement. It is dissociation from empathy. We are drifting away from the ability to be in someone else’s shoes, acknowledging their uniqueness, rights, likes, dislikes, different part of their personality, needs, wants, thoughts, and emotions. We are all about fulfilling our immediate need. We might move on shortly to the next shiny object, which means, we are objectifying ourselves as well. By narrowing down ourselves to lust, the physical need only (leading with our body or maybe with our money) we are depriving ourselves love, intimacy, emotional bond, and emotional safety with another human being.

We deserve the whole package!

Why settle for less?