The First Few Days of Vacation Aren’t Wasted Time

By Clark Wheeler - 07/16/2026

It’s summertime, and for many people, that means a vacation, often with travel involved. For those of us who live in Southern Arizona, we’re trying to get out of the heat and cool down. Although cooling down might be one reason we’re trying to escape the heat, a mental break might be another. If you have kids, they’re out of school, and you might want to take a vacation with them, or you may just need some time to yourself. Jobs are stressful, and taking a mental break is necessary to maintain your mental health and wellbeing. There’s a lot of research showing that vacations, or even simply time away from work, are crucial for our mental health. But what if you don’t get that relaxing feeling?

Have you ever noticed that you don’t feel relaxed after a vacation, or that it takes a few days before you feel relaxed and content? That lag isn’t laziness, and it isn’t you “doing vacation wrong.” Your body simply doesn’t know it’s allowed to stop the moment you do. Slowing down on command isn’t how the nervous system actually works. For most of us, our bodies have spent weeks or months tackling everything coming at us at a relentless pace. There are deadlines at work, extra projects that land on your desk unexpectedly, household tasks, and if you have kids, whatever they need in the moment, like a last-minute mention of a project due tomorrow. That state of perpetual motion doesn’t switch off just because your calendar says “vacation.”

Think about it from your body’s perspective. If staying busy and staying alert has kept things running smoothly for months, then suddenly stopping doesn’t feel like relief. It feels like an unexpected change. That’s why the first day or two away can feel strangely flat, irritable, or even more tired than your last day at work. You’re not failing to relax. You’re in the gap between deciding to rest and your body believing it’s actually safe to.

I notice this in my own life every time I take time off. The first day, I’m usually worried about my clients and what I might have missed before I left for vacation and find myself feeling irritable. By day three, I’ve convinced myself it’s okay to relax, and then I spend a little time beating myself up for being so worried about everything to begin with (another topic entirely). This transition is especially hard for people who are always busy and rarely slow down.

A few things can help that shift happen sooner. Knowing the lag is coming makes a real difference. If you expect the first day or two to feel a little off, you’re less likely to panic or write off the whole trip as a failure when it does. It also helps to give your body actual signals of safety, not just permission. Deciding to relax doesn’t carry much weight with your nervous system, but a slow walk, an unhurried meal, or sitting outside without your phone in hand tells it something more convincing. It’s worth being careful with totally unstructured time too. If you’re accustomed to always being busy, stillness can bring up a lot of discomfort. That’s why it’s a good idea to plan a few things for the first day or two, so the transition feels a little smoother. If you find yourself checking email, thinking it’s just in case someone needs you, it’s worth asking what’s actually going on internally. Usually it isn’t the inbox, it’s the discomfort of having nothing to manage. Bonus points if you can trace that discomfort back to messages you received in childhood about love, productivity, and self-worth. Did you really think you’d get through a mental health blog with me not asking you to think about your childhood? Notice what’s coming up and make a note to explore it in your next therapy session.

Let the unwindulaxing (shout out to 30 Rock) happen at its own pace. These first few days with a relaxed schedule aren’t wasted time. More often than not, they’re doing the most important work of the whole trip. It’s pretty hard to force yourself to relax, so it’s best to take a breath or two and let things unwind naturally. Give your body the time it needs to believe it’s actually okay to stop, and the rest tends to follow.