The Case For Connection

By Lisa Merrin - 05/11/2026

A friend of mine has a bumper sticker on her car that says, “Don’t Honk if You’re Introverted.” This always makes me smile. She knows she needs more quiet, reflective and alone time than some others do, and yet she is often the one to initiate visits with our special circle of friends, and even to host these visits in her warm and friendly home. As humans, we vary in terms of how much social time we want in our lives, and as humans we all require some degree of social connection for good health. My friend is a role model to me in how she honors her seemingly contradictory needs. She is intentional in working to create a balance in her life. However, we are living in a world that has more and more opportunities to disrupt this important balance.

Human beings are inherently social animals. Long ago, we depended on each other for survival, and while the world has changed, our nervous systems are still built around this basic need. We need some degree of “co-regulation” – meaning connected time with other humans, to be healthy. Without it, we can feel unsafe, anxious, lonely, and untethered. Knowing we are part of a community on both a larger and a smaller scale helps us to feel more anchored and reminds us that we belong and that we matter.

We are currently living in a world that makes it more possible than ever to disconnect from others. We can go shopping and use the “self-check-out” so that we never interact with a cashier or a person helping to bag our groceries. We can take driverless taxis. We can have “conversations” with the artificial intelligence on our phones and computers. Even some art forms that were once only created by humans are now generated by computers, so we can read books and listen to music that was not made by another person. All of these modern phenomena take away opportunities to connect with and co-regulate with other humans and other human-made forms of expression. Too much of this leaves us at risk of depriving our nervous systems of the connection we need, and leaving us feeling sad, empty, anxious, or adrift.

Since even small moments can make a big difference, I am trying to move through my world more intentionally and mindfully. When given the choice of connection or isolation, I try to choose connection, even if that just means taking a few more minutes to wait in line for the cashier at the grocery store and making brief conversation, or making eye contact and smiling at someone I am passing on the street. And I certainly relish those deeper relational moments too such as those with my “introverted” friend and others that I am grateful to have in my life. I hope each of us can find our needed balance, and give ourselves the connections we need, both big and small!