Managing Holiday Stress

The season is changing, and coming with it is the shift into the holidays. While the holiday season can be wonderful, there are often many stressors. Some people struggle around their families. For others, the holidays are a painful reminder of a difficult time. If you struggle to manage your stress and obligations, here are some tips.

Keep up With Self-care

You’ve heard it before, but it’s worth the reminder because keeping up with our self-care is critical to maintaining our mental health when we’re stressed. Not getting exercise, not sleeping enough, and consistently eating poorly will impact our mental health. One strategy for keeping a routine going is to ensure we don’t miss more than one day. The more days missed, the harder it is to get the routine going again.

Get Good at Saying No

It is easy to become overscheduled, thinking we must say yes to every invitation. The reality is that saying yes to everything can be detrimental to our well-being. It’s okay to say no to or limit time at events that will have a negative mental health impact.

Talk With Your Therapist

There is no substitute for being proactive. You know yourself best and talking over some strategies with your therapist will help you stay on track. If you regularly see a therapist, try not to skip your regular sessions.

Find New Traditions

Traditions are a great way to honor our past or create a new way of moving forward. Sometimes, we must let go of old traditions that no longer serve us and create new traditions that keep us happier and healthier. If a loved one was lost around the holidays or this was a special time for them, why not create a new tradition in their honor? The time can remain special by always remembering that person in a way that celebrates their uniqueness. Traditions from our parents or other family members may no longer be healthy for us to maintain. If that’s the case, find something new that works for you.

Don’t Be Afraid to Walk Away

During the holidays, we often find ourselves with people who we might not otherwise choose to be around. Not everyone deserves your attention. Walk away from people who put you down, make you feel unsafe, or are otherwise unhealthy for you to be around. Just because someone is a family member does not give them the right to treat you poorly. This doesn’t mean walking away from every upsetting conversation but having appropriate boundaries around how we’re treated.

Keep Kindness First

You may encounter many people this winter who are suffering for one reason or another. It may be a rude person in the grocery store or a relative at a family gathering. Either way, you have an opportunity to respond with kindness, and if appropriate, curiosity. Rather than hanging on to someone’s rude behavior or comments, try and look through their perspective and see why they might be struggling. This doesn’t mean being a doormat but rather, asking ourselves “how important is it?” How important is it that I allow this person to occupy space in my mind and take up mental energy that could be best suited for other uses?

Start Planning for Next Year

If you have not had a holiday plan in the past, or if the holiday season always seems to go awry, it’s time to start making a plan for next year. Start by noticing what parts of this time of year are most painful for you. What thoughts are coming up when times are hard? Is there always conflict with particular family members? Do you routinely become stressed from being overscheduled? As we notice what aspects of the holiday season are most painful, we can work toward keeping ourselves healthier the next year.