Loneliness Sucks

Loneliness sucks.                

It hits quietly at first—an ache, a heaviness, a moment where we realize we are sitting with ourselves, wishing someone else were beside us. Feeling lonely isn’t a sign that something is wrong with us. It reflects a longing for connection, understanding, closeness, and a sense of belonging where we feel supported and seen.

Loneliness, isolation, and depression are not only emotional states. According to the World Health Organization (WHO, 2023), social isolation raises the risk of early death at levels comparable to smoking or obesity. The U.S. Surgeon General’s advisory (Murthy, 2023) notes that loneliness increases early mortality by 26%, and isolation increases it by 29%. Research links long-lasting loneliness with cognitive decline and dementia (Donovan et al., 2017; Lara et al., 2019), and consistent evidence shows strong associations between loneliness and depression across the lifespan (Lee et al., 2021).

But our loneliness is more than statistics.
It is deeply human.

Why does it hurt so much?

Loneliness affects our biology as well as our emotions. Human beings are built for closeness—for shared laughter, eye contact, touch, support, and companionship. When we lack these forms of connection, our nervous system responds as if something essential is missing. Stress rises, our bodies tense, and even simple tasks can feel more burdensome.

We often try to protect ourselves by pulling back, but withdrawing can actually deepen loneliness, which then fuels sadness, making it even harder to reach out. A cycle of loneliness, isolation, and depression takes shape, each layer reinforcing the next.

That ache we feel is the space between what we deserve and what we currently experience. Our loneliness is not a personal failure.
It means we care.
It means we long for closeness.
It means we still hope for connection, even when it feels like giving up.

So what can we do?

Let’s not wait to be invited. Let’s initiate.

Sometimes belonging begins with a single small step.

Face-to-face activities we can join

• A pickleball, basketball, volleyball, or baseball game at a neighborhood park
• An audition, rehearsal, or backstage role in community theater
• A music circle, drumming group, or open jam session
• A DND campaign, a board-game night, or a Magic The Gathering event
• A class or workshop in pottery, painting, cooking, photography, dance, or improv
• A local hiking meet-up

Reconnect with people

• Text an old friend and meet for lunch, coffee, or a walk
• Reach out to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while
• Ask someone to join you for a class, a movie, or a relaxed game night

Volunteer—somewhere that feels meaningful

• Play with cats or walk dogs with other animal lovers at an animal shelter.
• Help at a food pantry or community kitchen.
• Join neighborhood mutual-aid projects.
• Volunteer at community events that need extra hands, the library, book fairs, or senior centers.
  

Create a connection

• Smile.
• Complement someone for something you truly appreciate.
• Start a tiny conversation with a barista, neighbor, coworker, or classmate.
• Say yes to one invitation.

What one action, not perfect, not impressive, can you commit to today that moves you even one step closer to connection?

***

You’re invited.

If you’re a PCS ITP alumnus—and you’re looking for a meaningful place to begin—please join our PCS ITP Alumni Group. Community has a unique ability to lift, to hold, and to remind us of who we are—especially in moments when life feels heavy.

Within this group, you’ll find people who understand the journey, who value shared growth, and who believe in showing up for one another. You don’t have to navigate everything alone. Come be part of something larger, a vast human mosaic, where every small effort matters. 

We are waiting for you.       / Hadas Ron-Zarki

References:

Donovan, N. J., Okereke, O. I., Vannini, P., Amariglio, R. E., Rentz, D. M., Marshall, G. A., Johnson, K. A., & Sperling, R. A. (2017). Association of higher cortical amyloid burden with loneliness in cognitively normal older adults. JAMA Psychiatry, 73(12), 1230–1237. https://doi.org/10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2016.2657

Lara, E., Caballero, F. F., Rico-Uribe, L. A., Olaya, B., Haro, J. M., Ayuso-Mateos, J. L., & Miret, M. (2019). Are loneliness and social isolation associated with cognitive decline? Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease, 70(S1), S191–S202. https://doi.org/10.3233/JAD-180439

Lee, E. E., Depp, C., Palmer, B. W., Glorioso, D., Daly, R., Liu, J., Tu, X., & Jeste, D. V. (2021). High prevalence and adverse health effects of loneliness in community-dwelling adults across the lifespan: Role of wisdom as a protective factor. International Psychogeriatrics, 33(10), 1097–1108. https://doi.org/10.1017/S1041610220000968

Murthy, V. (2023). Our epidemic of loneliness and isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s advisory on the healing effects of social connection and community. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services. https://www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/loneliness

World Health Organization. (2023). Social isolation and loneliness. https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/social-isolation-and-loneliness