Series Three: Blog Ninety-Two
Addictive behavior always involves betrayal. You say you will do one thing, but your good intent is torpedoed with destructive acting out behavior. There is a pall of gloom that hovers around those who were counting on you to be true to your word. Everyone is disappointed including you.
Your partner no longer believes a word you say. H/she is triggered by a number of experiences and then goes into ranting and railing about how you hurt them. Often, the rant is demeaning, condescending and devastating. The hard work you put in to correcting the course of wrong doing seems for naught. You swear your partner discounts your efforts with a litany of complaint and accusations. You really do love your partner and want to heal the relationship but you feel like running away.
Here is a list of considerations that can help you not run away, but instead lean into the difficulty with an “I love you” statement.
Each of these suggestions demonstrate ways in which you can say I love you and not run away. By leaning into the uncertainty and emotional pain of fear and abandonment, you can create a path that cultivates the necessary inner healing of broken trust.
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