Sexual Desire Descrepancy

By Brian T. Case Ph.D.
PCS Staff Therapist

Many couples struggle with sexual dissatisfaction that stems in part from one partner desiring sex more or less frequently than the other.  In the past, this problem has primarily been identified as “sexual dysfunction” in one of the two partners.  The most common conclusion, and therefore diagnosis, has been to see the partner desiring sex less often as suffering from “hypoactive sexual desire” or low sex drive.  Within heterosexual couples, this is especially true when the partner desiring sex less often is female, and the one wanting sex more often is male.  On occasion, the partner desiring sex more often will be identified as having “too strong or frequent” a sex drive, clinically referred to as “hyperactive sexual desire” and more commonly referred to as being “oversexed” or in the recent past as “nymphomania”.

Although a number of individual/personal factors can contribute to sexually “shutting-down” or compulsively engaging in sexual behaviors, for many couples it is a relational dynamic that contributes to not “being on the same page” sexually.  For this reason, the concept of a “sexual desire discrepancy” is particularly important, as it allows for the “couple” and the interactions between them to be the focus of treatment versus one individual being the identified patient.

I have found that when a couple comes in for sex therapy dealing with problems of desire, they have often already concluded that one of the two is the problem and want him or her to “be fixed”.  After the bumpy transition to a new way of looking at things, most couples find it very enlightening, refreshing and hopeful to see that they are both contributing to the problem, and more importantly, can both contribute to the healing of the sexual relationship and a return to (or in some cases first experience of) sexual satisfaction and fulfillment.

The most common relational dynamic contributing to sexual desire discrepancy problems is polarization.  Polarization occurs when small differences between two people in an intimate relationship become amplified as each person reacts to the other.  One such polarization is often referred to as the “distancer-pursuer dynamic”.  This dynamic often begins with the differences between the two partners being a source of attraction.  The one takes more initiative and reaches out to the other, finding pleasure in helping to “open the other one up”.  Likewise, the pursued partner loves feeling desired, and being able to respond in kind.

Over time, however, the distancer can feel overwhelmed by the “neediness” of the other person, while the pursuer can feel frustrated and afraid by the lack of openness and reciprocity in the relationship.  While the one withdraws in reactivity, the other increases the intensity of pursuit.  This polarization can continue to the point where ““you always”  and “you never” become common phrases thrown out in arguments.  Within the sexual relationship, that often sounds like “he always wants sex, it drives me crazy” and “she is so sexually repressed, please fix her”.  What appears to be a problem of either raging or dormant hormones is far too often the result of a frustrating yet readily reversible cycle of polarized reactivity within the relationship.

Indeed, there is hope and healing for couples stuck in this cycle!  Even when only one partner chooses to make a shift, the dynamic can be positively impacted.  When both work to stay in a more balanced place, even better!  As the person withholding or avoiding sexual intimacy steps up to the plate and initiates more, and the pursuer patiently backs off, a couple is often able to find a workable balance.  If the polarization is successfully decreased and yet the differences in sexual desire still exist, each individual may need to look at intrapersonal factors that may be keeping them from more often being on the same page sexually.  Indeed, by working through both the relational dynamic of polarization and one’s own baggage resulting in repressing and/or over-relying on sex, a fulfilling sexual relationship can emerge.

 Brian T. Case, Ph.D.
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, PCS Staff Therapist
Psychological Counseling Services, Ltd.

What to Expect When Bringing Your Child to Dr. Gilbert for Therapy

By Gloria Gilbert, Ph.D., Child and Adolescent Psychologist, PCS Staff Psychologist

The decision of whether to bring your son or daughter to therapy can be a difficult one, as is the choice regarding which therapist would be the best fit for your child or teen.  As a child/adolescent psychologist, I’d like to share my “process” of beginning therapy with a young person, in the hopes of “demystifying” that process and increasing parents’ comfort level and understanding of how therapy for kids “starts.”

I find it most helpful to have an initial session with just the parent(s) to obtain background information, to learn about the parents’ concerns for their child, and to identify what goals they might like for their child.  The next session is then for the child to meet with me individually, where I explain what a psychologist is (e.g., “a Feelings Doctor”) and how I help children and teenagers.  I also share about how, what the young person and I talk about, can be “private,” unless it involves anything about the child’s safety; in that case, we’d need to tell mom or dad or another adult.  Then, depending on the age of the child, we might play a game or two to “break the ice.”

At this point, I usually give young people a choice about whether they’d like to tell me about themselves, or to allow me to go through a series of questions I have prepared (usually, kids prefer that I ask them questions).   The questions start out “light,” including inquiries about what they like to do for fun, about their school and friends, and about their family.  For younger children, I might ask them to draw a picture of their family as they tell me about family members.  The questions also allow me to discover what in their lives makes them feel worried, scared, sad, and mad.  The session closes with an invitation to bring mom or dad into the session.  The child has the option to share about what we did and/or talked about.  The goal of this first session is to allow the child and me to get to know each other, and for the child to have a positive first experience with therapy.

At the next session, I usually present an activity I have termed, “My Problems, Bothers, Worries, and Unhappy Memories Page.”   From my own life, I draw pictures to represent some of the problems, bothers, worries, and unhappy memories that I experienced in childhood.  The young person then has an opportunity to complete his/her own “Problems” page.  I often find that children can identify as many “problems” as is their age.   Next, I assist the child in identifying how each problem makes him/her feel; to rate each problem on a scale from 0 to 10, with 10 being the most bothersome; and to draw lines connecting problems to discover possible themes or patterns.  I find this information to be so helpful in understanding, from the young person’s perspective, what are or have been the biggest challenges in his/her life.  Often, children are interested in sharing their drawings with their parent(s), and I have been told by many parents how informative and helpful this information has been to them.

From there, I explain to the child how, when we have many things in our lives that bother us or cause us “yucky” feelings, those negative memories take up room in our brains, preventing us from being able to have good and happy feelings.  My job is to help children learn to better cope with those negative memories or experiences, so that they can have more room in their brains for good and happy feelings.

Lastly, I assist the young person in identifying his/her own goals for therapy.  While parents certainly can offer input into these goals, I feel it is critical that the goals be generated by the young person…if they are going to be coming for therapy on a regular basis, they need to have it be worth their while to work on issues that are important to them (not just what’s important to their parents)!  Once a young person identifies his/her goals, these are shared with mom and/or dad, and a plan is made for the frequency of sessions and the estimated duration of treatment, as well as what kinds of therapy techniques might be used.

In sum, this process allows me to get to fully know the child, to understand his/her struggles, and to discover how the young person would like his/her life to be better.  Often, this process can “open the door” toward improved communication and connection between child and parent(s) as well.   It is always a privilege and honor to guide a young person through this process!

The PCS Philosophy

By Heidi Green, Psy.D, Staff Therapist

At PCS, our philosophy is rooted in helping people develop their healthiest self by healing old wounds, understanding how early life experiences helped shape maladaptive behavior in adulthood and moving forward with hope, integrity and balance. We incorporate the Murry Method, developed by Marilyn Murray, which conceptualizes poor emotional health and difficulty in overall functioning to early life experiences that stunt the healthy growth of an individual and inhibit their ability to show up in the world as their authentic, true self. We work with clients to identify areas of stunted emotional development and then grow themselves up into the genuinely healthy person they are meant to be.


Over the years, we have evolved into an increasingly multidisciplinary program, effective with complex client problems such as addiction and trauma.  Our clients often present with multiple symptoms, including unresolved childhood trauma, compulsive behaviors, low self-esteem, lack of emotional intimacy, restricted or dysregulated emotional expression, inability to establish and maintain appropriate boundaries, and narcissistic and/or dependent personality traits.  We have found that incorporating elements from different theoretical approaches to our family systems treatment model results in significant symptom reduction by the end of treatment and improved real-world functioning. Couples report improved communication, emotional intimacy and overall marital satisfaction.


PCS provides a safe, caring environment for clients who are in crisis or who need more intensive treatment than traditional outpatient therapy offers.  Although inpatient psychiatric facilities and residential treatment centers are abundant, most are cost-intensive and require a length of stay that may be prohibitive for many individuals. A short-term IOP provides intensive care that does not require extended time away from work and home at a cost that is more accessible than that of residential treatment.  PCS prides itself on offering a unique program that provides transformative care in a condensed format. If you are ready to heal your heart and live the life you are meant to have, we are waiting for you.

What you can expect from a PCS Intensive Program

By Heidi Green, PsyD, Staff Therapist

The Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) at PCS is designed to provide intensive, outpatient treatment for multiple symptoms over the course of one week.  Clients see approximately five to nine different clinicians with varying therapeutic approaches during treatment.  Generally, thirty hours of individual/couple sessions and about twenty-two hours of group sessions occur over the course of the IOP.  This multidisciplinary approach treats individuals experiencing acute interpersonal or psychological distress whose symptoms do not warrant long-term residential treatment.  Techniques include equine therapy, eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), psychodrama, exposure therapy, mindfulness training, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), gestalt therapy, hypnosis, emotionally focused therapy, cognitive therapy, and psychoeducation.  The underlying theoretical framework of the program is based in a family systems model and extensive therapeutic work surrounding early childhood experiences and family of origin dynamics is employed.

The majority of clients who participate in the program choose a one week IOP, although clients may choose to stay in the program for up to three weeks.  Determinations about length of program for each client are initially made at the time of intake.  Revisions can be made after treatment begins if the client, the treatment team, and their referring therapist (when applicable) are in agreement that extended treatment is warranted.

After an individual contacts PCS and is determined to be a good fit for the program, a case manager is assigned and an intake is scheduled.  Clients are asked to complete an intake before they arrive so therapeutic goals and a personalized treatment program can be designed before their week of treatment.  The role of the case manager is to complete the intake, serve as a liaison between the referring therapist and the IOP team throughout treatment, ensure all required documents are completed and write a treatment summary at the end of treatment.

As stated, PCS utilizes a number of therapeutic techniques, some of which are program requirements to be completed by all clients.  These required exercises include the making of a trauma egg, a genogram, and completion of a personality assessment.  Additional tools which are used when appropriate include completion of a wellness contract, a clarification packet, and developing an offense cycle. The trauma egg is a timeline of all traumatic events the individual has experienced in their lifetime which includes emotions they experienced during and after each event, messages they received from others about the event and how they processed or coped with what occurred.  The wellness contract identifies and categorizes a client’s triggers, problem behaviors, and healthy coping skills.  It serves as a guide for avoiding and coping with triggers when they are presented and utilizing healthy alternative behaviors in everyday scenarios.  A genogram is a family map which identifies the roles and personality traits of each family member and includes a brief description of the relationships between family members.  This tool is used to identify unhealthy patterns and themes within the family and can help clients develop an understanding about the etiologies of some of their dysfunctional beliefs and behaviors, especially as they pertain to interpersonal relationships.  Clients complete a clarification packet that helps them gain insight into their maladaptive behaviors by identifying motivations and desired outcomes.  The offense cycle identifies behaviors the client has engaged in that have been offensive to self and/or others.  These may include drug and alcohol use, sexual acting out, self-injurious behaviors, rage or passive-aggressive communication.  Finally, personality test results are used to explore how the client shows up in the world, how they are perceived by others and how their behaviors may be interfering with healthy functioning.

In addition to standard therapeutic sessions, IOP clients also participate in twenty-two hours of group therapy throughout the program.  Group therapy sessions, which range from one to two hours in length, include an introduction and wrap-up group, equine therapy, two sessions of psychodrama, communication group, mindfulness, two sessions of compulsivity group, healthy balanced person group, anger and forgiveness, boundaries group, codependency and a Get Real group, an adult play therapy group which encourages healthy spontaneity as opposed to unhealthy impulsivity.

Clients participate in approximately thirty hours of individual therapy during the course of their week long treatment program.  Clients are assigned to treating therapists for completion of required exercises and additional methods (such as EMDR) are assigned as part of a personalized program designed after the initial intake.  At the midpoint of each week the therapists convene for a staffing in which the client is present as a silent observer.  If there is a referring therapist, they are also invited to participate in the staffing via telephone.  The group of therapists briefly shares their experiences of the client including progress and areas which require continued work.  In the clients’ therapy session immediately following the staffing, the therapist will initiate a debriefing.  The therapist allows the client to share their feelings about and interpretations of the discussion in the staffing and assists the client in addressing any pertinent thoughts or emotions that came up for them as they observed the discussion.

Upon conclusion of the program, clients participate in an outtake session which includes a review of the client’s perceived gains during treatment and areas for continued growth, as well as their perceptions of the program.  In addition, the initial treatment goals are reviewed to identify those that were effectively met and follow-up treatment plans are reviewed and/or developed.  If a client did not have an outpatient therapist at the time of admission to the program, referrals are given for continuation of care.  Case managers conduct a follow-up session with clients approximately one week after program completion to provide support regarding successes and challenges following discharge.


Sex Addiction Expert Explains Why Good Kids Get Pulled Into Porn

by Mark Bell, LMFT, CSAT, PCS Staff Therapist and Claudine Gallacher, MA

Most parents understand that pornography is prevalent and easily accessible, but they convince themselves that their own good children would never be ensnared by it. Sadly, this is an all too common mistake. Many good, healthy, and normal children get pulled into porn. Here are three reasons why this is a natural result of biological programming, followed by three powerful strategies to porn-proof your own good kids.

Why Good Kids Are Pulled Into Porn

#1. Children are naturally curious.

Curiosity has an especially powerful role in childhood. Curiosity drives learning. Parents discover that curious children want to see, smell, touch, taste, and listen to new things. Humans crave and are hard-wired for novelty of all kinds, but most especially physical novelty (including sexual) experiences. It’s normal for kids to be curious about looking at both male and female naked bodies.

#2. All people, including children, are biologically designed to be drawn to sexualized images.

When children are exposed to sexual images or media they are naturally intrigued and can become excited, even aroused. This does not mean there is something wrong with them. In fact, it indicates that their bodies and brains are responding in a manner consistent with their human design. Pornography elicits within children a premature stimulation of sexual feelings. In other words, though sexual feelings typically awaken during puberty, pornography exposure often causes this aspect of human development to activate too early. Young kids, lacking sufficient life experience and brain maturity, don’t understand these newly awakened and intense sexual feelings and have difficulty coping with them. The end result is that a child will feel drawn to pornography and not know why. The child may or may not like seeing porn initially; nevertheless, the child will often feel an inner pull towards it. It’s important to understand that this pull is as biologically driven as the human preference for sweet foods. Virtually all of us like something sweet. Similarly, there is an aspect in all of us (yes, even children!) that innately responds to sexual images of some kind.

#3. Pornography produces powerful chemicals that reinforce a child’s innate attraction to it.

Besides activating the sexual template too early, porn can activate it too much. This is because pornography is a supernormal stimulus. What does that mean? Humans are hard-wired to be interested in male and female bodies, but under normal circumstances we aren’t exposed to endless numbers of people willing to undress and perform sex acts in front of us the moment we first meet! This “unnatural” sexual stimulus causes the brain to release an “unnatural” (unusually high) dose of a chemical called dopamine, often called the molecule of motivation. Author and behavioral scientist, Dr. Susan Weinschenk explains:

“The latest research shows that dopamine causes seeking behavior. Dopamine causes us to want, desire, seek out, and search. It increases our general level of arousal and our goal-directed behavior.”

When a child sees porn, that child’s brain will begin to release large amounts of dopamine, creating a drive for more, even in a child who did not like seeing pornography in the first place. Unfortunately, with repeated exposure, porn can become strongly woven into the tapestry of a young person’s developing sexual template. Eventually, porn might convince the brain that masturbation in front of a screen is more rewarding and even more normal than sexual experiences within a real, committed relationship.

It’s Normal to Be Enticed by Porn

Hopefully, you can see why good, healthy, and normal children are vulnerable to porn. When children become victims of pornography, they are merely responding naturally to an unnatural or supernormal stimulus. In fact, asking children to reject porn is asking them to have a biologically unnatural response to this supernormal stimulus. Falling prey to porn’s lure is our human default setting. Studies showing that 90% of college age males (and 30% of college age females) view porn regularly bear that out.

What’s a parent to do? 3 Strategies to Empower Your Good Kids

  1. Recognize porn’s power. Don’t assume that your child can withstand it alone. To stay free from porn, your child is going to need the power of your mature brain and your willingness to teach the skills necessary to reject porn. Telling your child that porn is bad and should be avoided is usually not enough.
  2. Teach children about their two brains (the feeling brain and the thinking brain) and that they must use the thinking part of their brain, their still-developing pre-frontal cortex, to override the pull of pornography.
  3. Give them a concrete plan that moves the pornography they will see out of the part of the brain that solely reacts (the feeling brain) into the part of the brain that can choose to say no (the thinking brain). For example, the CAN DO Plan™ found in Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids does just that. We suggest you read this book with your children and then follow up with repeated conversations and mentoring.

With your help and training, your child CAN DO what it takes to reject pornography.

*Originally published on Protect Young Minds on Sept. 10, 2015

Weaving Together a Solid Recovery Foundation (3 of 3)


Weaving Together a Solid Recovery Foundation (3 of 3)


Step 3-“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God”

Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.” William James

“I am an addict!” No harder words are ever spoken than those uttered by one who attends h/her first 12 step meeting. Accepting the limitation of addiction and identifying secretive destructive behavior is agonizingly painful and full of discomfort in the beginning stage of recovery. It demands the rigorous honesty cultivated in Step 1. It calls for the humility of Step 2 to ask for help from a higher power.

Step 3 is a Catch 22 dilemma. Figuring it out can be like trying to nail jelly to a tree. This step in the recovery foundation bids for irony and metaphor. It leans into the concept of to win you must lose. Winning sobriety means to surrender all forms of dishonesty, minimization and displacement of responsibility. It means to be in control you must let go. Let go of control of what people think, secrets kept and serial addictive behaviors repeated. It means to totally surrender to a Higher Power in the midst of fear, uncertainty and ambiguity.

It reminds of the story of the tourist visiting the Grand Canyon while leaning over the railing to see the bottom of the canyon, lost his balance and fell-grabbing a lone branch sticking out of the side of the canyon, holding on for dear life. He looks down to a 300 foot drop and cries out “God help me!” to which he hears a deep voice that says “Ok, let go!” He waits a few seconds and then calls out “Is there anyone else up there!” Step 3 challenges the addict to release h/her grip and let go to the promise of program and Higher Power. It is not a one-time surrender but a daily release moment by moment. The requirement is to do what seems innately against addict nature-give up control in order gain peace and to resurrect control again.

In order to know God, Step 3 proposes that you embrace what you don’t know. Through Step 3 we work with and accept the uncertainties of life. We surrender to the reality that there are no absolute certainties, assurances in life and we abandon all demands for perfection. We embrace the spiritual paradox that “when I am weak then am I strong.”

We are challenged to detach from things and possessions. Attachment to positions, power and places has become a problem that stunts spirituality because at some point they own us. Adding to your collection and hoard of things crowds out the spiritual.

Rather, we embrace our failures and our success, our dark side as well as our light and we gain autonomy by not insisting on our own rights. We learn to pay attention to what we hold on to and soberly accept what has happened. Somehow we allow our Higher Power to transform the Catch 22 of addiction from lose-lose to win-win profoundly letting go and accepting what we cannot control.

Ken Wells is a PCS staff therapist, lecturer, and author of The Clarification Packet.  He facilitates Men’s Leadership Weekends held throughout the year. He can be reached at for additional information.

Weaving Together a Solid Recovery Foundation (1 of 3)


Weaving Together a Solid Recovery Foundation (1 of 3)


“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story”—Maya Angelou

Recovery in addiction is likened to getting an out of control train running down the tracked stopped. Getting addictive living re-calibrated and re-establishing life balance is a delicate and difficult task. The 12 step program has been invaluable to those who suffer from powerlessness and unmanagability. Courageously telling the story of out of control living is both a beginning and ending point. Our stories are the most powerful source for healing in our lives. T.S. Eliot said it well,

“We shall not cease from exploration

And the end of all our exploring

Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time-

Admitting our unmanageability and cultivating a pattern of “telling on myself” is a necessary ingredient for a strong recovery foundation. Our story is not static as in “once said and done”. Rather, we knead through our story as a baker would knead through dough in the making of bread. We work the different aspects of story by incorporating its insights and truths into congruent living which is an ongoing lifetime process. In the midst of failure of control, addictive thinking frequently will lower the expectation of sobriety in order to diminish the standards so that they can create an illusory sense of perfection. “Finally, I am sober!” “Finally, I measure up!” Rather, than embrace the possibility of finding meaningfulness in the failure. We find ourselves unraveling with a driven all or nothing mindset. We cannot stand the pace that striving to be perfect imposes.  It is indeed in the process of failing and getting up again that spirituality is essential.

Step one augments that we fail forward. In a very paradoxical way our very brokenness allows us to become whole. Our embrace of this process is paralyzed with dishonesty and denial about our crazy mixed up behavior.

It is very difficult to see our own crazy making ways. We cannot see ourselves without a mirror. Twelve step groups have way of expressing it when they refer “You cannot kiss your own ear”. This challenge brings us back to our story. Stories are the mirror for you and others to see self and uncover behavioral blind spots. This is what makes storytelling and group processing so powerful.

For an addict there is no life balance. It is only pedal to the metal chaos. Step one asks us to embrace our powerless unmanageability.  It is the beginning of weaving a life tapestry by boldly exposing the ups and downs, the bitter and sweet, the failure and success, the out of control heartache with courage and vulnerability. Relief from the agony of the untold story is waiting for all who embrace their pain.

Ken Wells is a PCS staff therapist, lecturer, and author of The Clarification Packet.  He facilitates Men’s Leadership Weekends held throughout the year. He can be reached at for additional information.

Spirituality: Sobriety’s Peaceful Paradox


Spirituality: Sobriety’s Peaceful Paradox


Addiction is an invite to become spiritual. In the midst of chaos, denial and deception, there is this beckoning toward truth. The word spiritual is a conundrum. It is a paradox- an “unsettling contradiction”. Some describe spirituality as “trying to nail jelly to a tree”. Others suggest that it is about vulnerability. It can feel like being emotionally naked in front of another. It is about a certain kind of brokenness. Its truth can have a certain coldness and rawness to it. It can be bittersweet. Often, it is presented as sweet peace wrapped in discomfort, even in the presence of being exposed.

Ernst Kurtz, in the Spirituality of Imperfection, indicates that to be spiritual is not about religion and not about therapy. If not, then what the heck is it? He cites that it comes from the “wound” in life. Spirituality comes from our “torn-to-pieces-hood”. It’s in the pus of human failure and repeated destructive behavior. It can be likened to stretching out a tender and sore muscle that begs you to leave it alone. That which we would least like to embrace is the place we are invited to stand. Spirituality demands that I lean into the painful wound. Carl Jung is credited with “the only way out is through the pain”. It’s a contradiction that brings me/you to life as “being” and less about “doing”.

Addiction is painful. It hurts me and others in a profound way. It leaves human carnage in its path. Yet, in the presence of shattered living, spirituality utilizes the pain of addiction as a catalyst to bring us closer to what is real no matter how hard I try to deny it. It demands that I lean into the pain in order to heal. It means I have to scrub the wound. It all sounds so contradictory. I want to do the opposite. Yet, spirituality demands that I embrace the pain of betrayal, the agony of disclosure and the annoyance and inconvenience of consequences. This can include but not limited to incarceration, losses of all types, and the painful tedium of ongoing assessments. It demands the engagement of mistrust of others toward you because of your destructive behavior. It requires that I surrender to the reality that each day I am a beginner in spirit lest I settle into resentment, bitterness and defensiveness toward those who don’t trust me.

Spirituality silently and irrepressibly tells us that we are not in control. Its message can be sweet but only if we embrace what feels bitter.

To myself I will say … “Nah, Nah,Nah”— “I want something better”- “enough is enough!” “I will ignore surrender and force my way to a better place!”- From this space, spirituality takes on a different face. It can even bite back or so it seems. It is not a separate entity trying to break individual stubbornness. Rather, it is the other side of who we are that confronts the resistance and refusal to recognize the limitations of the wounded-ness that comes with addiction.

Spirituality is not about having the answer. It is not fenced in by words. It’s about “am-ness”. Kurtz expressed “it is about a way that we “be”. It’s about emptying (kenosis) from all that we do to embrace simply what we may be. It stirs groundlessness and ongoing uncertainty. It is reality whether we choose isolation and destruction or positive life giving experience. To use a worn out phrase, “it is what it is”.

Metaphors, images and stories become the language of spiritual awareness. For this reason, nothing is more powerful in healing than the story of human brokenness. As the poet T.S. Eliot described “we shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time”. We share our stories of brokenness again and again so that spiritually we shall know the place for the first time.

Ken Wells is a PCS staff therapist, lecturer, and author of The Clarification Packet. He facilitates Men’s Leadership Weekends held throughout the year. He can be reached at for additional information.

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